Lucky Girl

My first entry into SOS – Soap Opera Sunday.

“I’m the luckiest girl in the world,” I thought when he asked me to be his girlfriend.

He asked one day in writing, and I instantly responded with an emphatic, “Yes!” I truly was the luckiest girl in the world. All the other girls congratulated me on my accomplishment in attaining the crest of relationships. Him.

J had wavy blond locks and deep crisp blue eyes. His muscular arms wrapped around me and comforted me when I felt shy with him. I had never dated someone as handsome, as well-liked, and so secure. I felt so lucky.

We would talk endlessly on the phone about family, education, and dreams for the future. We would write to each other
about our feelings and family. J had my heart.

And then it happened.

We were at a social gathering with all of our closest friends. Music blared while we talked, joked, held hands. He put his arm around me.

Then the music slowed down. We went out to dance.

Dancing with J was a new experience. His arms were tight around me. And it happened.

My first kiss.

7th grade middle school dance.

What? You didn’t expect me to write about something serious did you? Though it is 100% true.

I hear he’s gay now.

Breaking Point

How do you know when you’ve reached your breaking point?

  • Is it when the kids make their 7th trip out to the living room after “tucking” them in to bed?
  • Is it when you’re on a business call and one kid is crying, “IwannacolorMama IwannacolorMama IWANNACOLORMAMA IWANNACOLORMAMA” and the other is crying because she can’t find her pacifier?
  • Is it when you really just want to lie down for 15 minutes because you didn’t get to bed until after 1am the night before and the kids were up at 7:30 and you can’t lie down because the kids are coloring the walls?
  • Is it when all you want to do is sit by yourself and eat without a whining kid insisting on sitting on your lap?
  • Is it when you realize you have only $150 to last you 10 days until the next payday?
  • Is it when you find the dishes haven’t been done in 3 days and the kitchen is starting to emote a stench of rotten cheese and curdled milk?
  • Is it when one of the dogs pees on the floor for no apparent reason?

I guess the moon is in the 7th hour because every other post I read is a frustrated mom wanting a day off. JUST ONE DAY OFF. As a mom, we don’t get a day off. I don’t have a time card that tells me I have to “work” from 8am-5pm and then leave it on my desk. My job lasts 24/7 – the worrying, the cleaning, the momness. I love my job, but even moms need one day off from momness.

Just one day off.

Please?

Or just really strong meds. Either one would be awesome.

Yes, I’m a Mama Blogger, Sucka!

The last few weeks have been a real education for me in getting to know my fellow peeps, Mommy Bloggers. I’ve been in the Internets world hot and heavy for the last year with my business site, Good for the Kids, an online retail store (*Self-Promotion Alert!*). But I’ve really stepped in it jumped into Blog World with both feet, arms, and head the last few weeks.

I’ve been blog surfing the Mommy Blogs for hours a day while my children were pouring milk on the dog and coloring walls reading quietly educating myself on what makes a good blog, what makes me pee and others laugh, and possibly making a bit of moolah from my blog. I’ve added tons of blogs to my reader that I check 20-30 2-3 times a day and have added most to my ‘roll. (If you don’t see yourself there, lemme know & I’ll add ya!) I am really upset that some other moms do to like being called a “Mommy Blogger.” Do they feel they are different in any way? Just a question.

So in my quest for the perfect blog (other than my own – expect a new design soon!), I’ve found some real gems. Here are some of my faves:

1. Blog Name: Nap Warden – Because I need her at my house to ward over my non-nappers.

2. She-Makes-Me-Cool-‘Cause-We’ve-Been-Emailing-for-3-Weeks: BECAUSE I SAID SO – Everyone knows Dawn blog and her story. Don’t be jealous b/c she’s been my email buddy for 3 weeks. I pay her to be my friend. Well, at least pay to advertise on her blog.

3. I Can’t Wait to Comment (tie): BECAUSE I SAID SO – duh (see above), The Whole Family – I like her outlook and I might have a blog crush on her, and Busy Mom – I have a blog crush on her, too, and she gets me lotsalinks.

4. Picsdooce – Purty pics of her family, stuff, and especially her dog.

5. TaglineMom-101 – “I dont’ know what I’m doing either.” Says it all.

6. Award Cherry PopperVDog and Little Man – My new Cre8Buzz friend gave me an award just because I cried and whined for it. Thanks!

7. Product ReviewsCool Mom Pics, Chic Mommy Finds (thanks for reviewing my stuff!), googababy, and Mighty Goods. I’m always up for shopping and having my own stuff reviewed, so if you wanna review my products, lemme know! (*Self-Promotion Alert!*)

So, to all you fellow women bloggers who think you’re too good to be called a “Mommy Blogger,” if you’re a Mom and you blog, you’re a Mommy Blogger, sucka.

I am PROUD to be called a Mama Blogger! (I’m called Mama, not Mommy, so I figured I couldn’t change my name for you people.)

Maybe I should make a t-shirt, “I’m a Mommy Blogger, Sucka!” Cause I have time for that while the milk in the sippy cups in the sink curdles.

The Good, the Bad, and the Fugly: My take on the VMAs

Oh, MTV, why do you taunt me so? You hyped and hyped Britney. Why? So I would make sure to watch. You did your job. I’m watching. Now this is what I think:

Sarah Silverman – O.M.G. I about peed myself. She is the bravest chick since sliced bread. I love her comedy, not so much her TV show, but I love watching her KILL. And she SO delivered tonight.

Step-Daddy Justin Timberlake (see: earlier post) – He KILLS no matter what he does. But, MTV, why do you tease me with 1/2 a performance in a crowded hotel room? I want a PERFORMANCE! Lights, camera, action. Not a half-assed hotel-room party sing-along. WAIT – he closed the show. It was a good performance, could have done w/o Nelly Furtado.  I’m guessing she took the place of Britney.  I really hoped she was going to show up with him, but no.

Kanye West – I’m not a huge hip-hop girl, but I love his music. But, again, where is the PERFORMANCE? Just Mr. West walking around the Playboy suite with slutty girls and fratboy white guys trying to get camera face time. Despite the crappy hotel room setting, good job, Mr. West. I will be listening to your new album this Tuesday.

Chris Brown – Again, not a huge hip-hop girl, but watching him dance is somewhat of a religious experience. Highlight – he did a 30-second Michael Jackson homage dance to Billie Jean. I had CHILLS. Michael Jackson’s dancing is back in the form of Chris Brown.

Linkin Park – Finally a performance with lights, cameras, AND action! And no lip-synching!

Alicia Keys – Great performance, but if you’re going to perform George Michael songs, bring George Michael out! She did a fabulous performance, but add GM to it, I would have stood up and celebrated.

Miss Teen USA So. Carolina – At least she can make fun of herself. And such as.

Taco Bell Cheesy Beef Burrito Commercials – I’m a big-time Taco Bell fan (see: Fat Girl), and the first time I saw the commercial, I thought I might give it a try. Now, after seeing it 1001 times tonight, it looks more grody every time I see it.

Britney Britney Britney – I had such high hopes. Chriss Angel magic (where was it?), sneak peaks at the practice performance (looked just like the actual performance), partying late last night (we could tell). I really was hoping for a comeback. I think what we all got was a let down. Poor, poor BritBrit. Someone please get to Britney Spears and help her. From what it looked like from my recliner, you were holding your head so gently b/c the room was still spinning from your hangover.

To sum, I miss the times way back when I was in high school when I’d look forward to the VMAs for weeks, then stay up late watching. Every year, I hope for a shocker, and something to talk about.

All I want to do is find out what happened between Tommy Lee and Kid Rock. And kiss JT.

Observations on a Weekday Afternoon

We tend to visit our local B&N at least 1-2 times a week. My daughters love reading the books, dancing to the new-agey music on the kiddie stage, playing with the car books (the ones with wheels – they go through some abuse), toying with the Thomas train tracks, and whining/crying/protesting (trying to put a stop to that one) when we leave.

On our visit last week, I started to really notice the other moms and kiddos in attendance to a regular, weekday afternoon visit to B&N. I then identified 3 of the 4 SAHM traits you see below:

1. Slutty Mom – This is the mom that has at least 1 toddler, and possibly a pre-schooler, in tow. You usually notice her first because of the ridiculous, non-regular, weekday afternoon shoes she’s wearing. This day, it was a pair of red, patent leather 4 inch heels. No joke. Scanning up, she was wearing TIGHT pants, and a shirt that showed more boobs that other moms at B&N care to see. The children of Slutty Mom are either the antithesis to Slutty Mom (dirty, old clothes with sequined flip flops) or dressed just like Slutty Mom (belly shirt or halter top, short skirt or shorts, and chunky sequined flip flops). There is NO exception to the dress code of the Slutty Mom child. The Slutty Mom’s child is either the LOUD child or the one who is too afraid to show him/herself.

2. Burnt-Out Mom – B-O Mom has an infant and a toddler/pre-schooler in tow. NO EXCEPTION. She most likely has another 1-4 kids in school at the moment. She’s dressed in her nicest sweat shorts/capris, baggy sweater/sweatshirt, and slippers. The slippers are the Isotoner ballet flats that may LOOK like shoes at first glance, but upon closer inspection, yes, she really is wearing slippers to B&N. NO MAKEUP – no exception. B-O Mom’s toddler/pre-schooler is normally well-behaved with the occasional outburst or book throwdown. He/She is dressed like a normal kid with a Blue’s Clues/Thomas/Princesses t-shirt, cargo shorts, and Crocs.

3. Bored Mom – Bored Mom is dressed decently with the latest Old Navy/Loft/Gap outfit with matching shoes. Her hair is nicely fixed, but not so much as to say, “I spent time doing my hair this morning.” Bored Mom MUST have a trash magazine that she picked up on her way to the back of the B&N kiddie section. Why? So she had something to do when her 1 toddler/preschooler ran around the kiddie section unsupervised eating and licking a chocolate chip cookie the size of her own face (no joke). Bored Mom MUST have a Starbucks in her hand the entire time she is suffering through her B&N sentence. Bored Mom will allow the other moms discipline her child, read to her child, and play peek-a-boo with her child without a single glance up from her OK! magazine. Bored Mom’s kid is dressed head-to-toe in an all-matching outfit straight from The Children’s Place or Gap Kids, including the latest Stride Rites.

4. Me.

The only thing in common among the #1-3 types of Moms at B&N is the vacant look in their eyes. It is the saddest look a mom can have in her eyes. It is what made me start my observation into the likeness among the three types of Moms. What could they possibly have in common besides having children? The vacant look in their eyes. I wanted to shout, “GET A GRIP! Show some enthusiasm that you GET to stay home with your child!” Millions of mom WISH they could be at B&N with their child, but they are stuck at an office. I have my moments when I want to leave them behind, but I still enjoy my time with my children. I realize (usually right before a kiddie meltdown) that I have the best job in the world. I get to spend the best years of my kids’ lives with them! To those of you who work outside the home, I completely understand. I worked for 2 years after my oldest was born. It can be just as hard, sometimes harder, as being a SAHM. But PLEASE enjoy them. Don’t be Mom #1-3. Be You at #4. Or, just Be All That You Can Be.

I think I’m writing this to myself to remind myself that it is the greatest job to have kids. (God, I’m trying to end this on a witty note.)

Is this normal?

I’m sure I’ll ask this same question over and over, and it applies to many queries in the world (growths on your body, someone tattooing a NASCAR number on their chest, what my kids do, etc). But today, the question applies to how smart NaNa shows herself to be.She’s been classified as a late talker with articulation delay by speech pathologists, and I also identify some characteristics of Einstein Syndrome in her behavior in family history. But, today she showed us a new level of intelligence. She and Bear were running around a chair (just in circles for no reason – their own form of burning off energy), and this happened:
P: Uhhhh… Did you hear that?

A: What?

P: NaNa, say again what you were just saying. Listen…

N: Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one… blastoff! (Clear as day. Remember, she has articulation issues.)

A: Uhhhh… What now? SHE’S BARELY THREE!

So, what do we do? I really don’t want to be a mom who says, “I have the smartest kid in class because I stay home with her.” Seriously, some mom in my girl’s “Mom’s Morning Out” church said that. Hello? You aren’t always home with him! Hence, the meaning of the “Mom’s Morning Out.” I digress…

As a natural-born researcher (see: my mom), I immediately started researching “development toddler counting backwards” and barely anything popped up. Well, tons of questions about other moms saying how smart their kids are (braggarts), but no real answers. I did find that 4-5 year olds can count to 10, but NaNa’s been doing that for a year. BTW – she can also say her ABCs all the way through by herself, but definitely don’t request her to perform that for you. But, whatever, I’M not a braggart. My kid really is smart. Psychologists have told me. HA.

So, really, what do I do? Do I immediately go in and destroy all of her DVDs, turn off Noggin, and sit down with War & Peace and the Physician’s Reference Guide (or whatever that’s called)?

Just wondering.

Way too smart 3-year-old

This morning, I get up to Nana already sprawled out on the couch watching Noggin (which, by the way, if you have a toddler whom you allow to watch TV, is a necessity). Today is a school day (not real school, people, but really a Mom’s Morning Out) for the girls, and I think Nana knew it. Recently, she hasn’t been to keen on the idea of going to school, but once she gets there and I’m gone, she’s all smiles. Anyhoo, she’s already aware that if she’s sick, she doesn’t have to go. So, first thing she says to me, “I’m sick. Mine tummy hurts.” She’s 3. What am I in for in the next umpteen years? Dear Oprah…